Pen, Paper & Gratitude: A Happiness Hack // by Kate Brenton

[00:00:00] Carmelita (Cat) Tiu, Host: Hi, everyone! This is Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them, a show to help busy, mindful, growth-oriented moms stay informed and inspired as they navigate their daughter's tween and teen years. With most episodes running 20 minutes or less. I'm your host Carmelita Tiu, join me each week as I talk to experts, moms who've been there and read a curated selection of articles with the author's permission of course.

[00:00:26] Today's article about gratitude journaling comes from Kate Brenton. Kate is an inspired teacher, author, and coach who helps women connect the dots between their passion, their purpose, and their true brilliance. She's also the host of the podcast, Rebirth, Stories of Women Changing Lives by Changing Their Own, the article isn't that long, but I loved the way it broke down.

[00:00:53] The why behind the what? I think we've all heard about gratitude journaling, but does it really work? And if it does, why? Here's the article.

[00:01:08] Keeping a gratitude journal might sound trite. It's not. Our preferences and habits create a filter in our mind's eye to find what we are seeking. Alex Korb PhD explained, your brain loves to fall for the confirmation bias. That is, it looks for things that prove what it already believes to be true. I would add, it looks for its preferences.

[00:01:35] For example, I was walking with my two-year-old nephew the other day, “Plane! Plane!” He says to me looking up in the sky, I see nothing but a tree scape. Slowly, my mind hears the telltale sign of a plane just before it peaks past the limits of the tree line. Ryan, my nephew is fascinated by planes, trucks and trains.

[00:01:57] His awareness is fine tuned to them. So he found them, he found what he wanted to see. Some of us are complainers. Some of us aren't. Some of us are in the process of retraining our mind’s habits. You cannot control the chaos of life. You may only control your reaction. Does seeing a beautiful flower change horrible news?

[00:02:23] I don't know. I know for a moment I get to be soaked in the beauty of nature where I otherwise would not. So for me, it works! Moment to moment, but what power can a gratitude journal have? Well, I recently watched the documentary Happy, where the neurologists found that people who keep a gratitude journal are happier people because, wait for it… They have trained their minds to find things to be grateful for.

[00:02:54] I keep a gratitude journal, bullet point style, and I aim for tiny tangible things like, perfect latte, art, hug from my partner, no traffic to work, a feather that made me think of a loved one, a great client session. I aim for five things a day. Some days I struggle for five and here is where the brain functioning gets fascinating.

[00:03:21] When I am thinking of my five things, my brain is literally calling out an all hands on deck moment to my memories for the day. Does anybody have anything we can give Kate to write down for number five? The mind continues to scribe for information. It wants to please the request, the more you place the request for moments of gratitude, you literally train the mind to look for things to be grateful for, even if only under the guise of writing in your journal at the end or beginning of the day.

[00:03:57] Personal tip, I enjoy revisiting yesterday's grace over my morning, cup of coffee as a peaceful way to write my mind into place. The more you look for things to be grateful for, the more you find, the more you find reasons to be grateful, the more grateful you feel your mind is a puppy pleasing entity that wants to complete tasks that will merit a reward.

[00:04:23] So what have you trained your mind to retrieve? Consider taking on a gratitude practice and see what you find.

[00:04:39] I hope today's article reinvigorates your gratitude journaling practice, or inspires you to start one. I've been pretty consistently keeping a gratitude journal for about 18 months. And I have to admit, I do think it's raised my baseline of happiness on a day-to-day basis. I do mine in the mornings and like Kate, I tried to pick small things.

[00:04:59] And I try not to repeat anything from the few days before. It's a fun challenge that way. And I think it forces me to see my surroundings in a new light. Some mornings I invite the girls to add to the list too. And I'm sometimes surprised by what they mentioned like today, literally, one of my daughters mentioned chocolate chip banana bread, which I didn't know she liked.

[00:05:22] With Thanksgiving and the holiday season upon us, there's so much more competing for our attention, whether it's work-related year-end reports, planning for holiday events, traveling to see family, semesters ending, et cetera. I know it's hard to make time for anything that doesn't feel kind of productive.

[00:05:43] For me, that usually means things like meditation, yoga workouts, et cetera, tend to fall to the wayside. But I do hope to maintain my gratitude journaling, especially after hearing about it's clear link to happiness. A big thanks to Kate for breaking down this happiness hack for us. To learn more about Kate and her work, visit her website.

[00:06:07] Katebrenton.com. That's K A T E B R E N T O N.com. You can sign up for her newsletter there and learn more about root to rise. A six week coaching alignment program. She offers she's also on Instagram, Kate M Brendan and Twitter, Kate Brenton. And you can also look for her podcast, Rebirth as noted earlier in this episode, these links are also in the show notes.

[00:06:33] So look there if you want more information.

[00:06:38] Thanks for listening. I truly believe that by showing up, leaning into learning about ourselves, parenting, and the issues facing our daughters, we are changing the world bit by bit. If you found something helpful or insightful, remember to subscribe or follow. If you haven't done so already, do tell a friend and please leave a review on apple podcasts if you have the time, because it does help people find the podcast.

[00:07:05] Also follow@nobraisethem on Instagram and you can find the podcast on Facebook by looking up facebook.com slash Know Be Raise Them. Thank you so much again for listening and here's to strong women. May we know them, may we be them, and may we raise them.